Author: rjhswain

Lover of puns, Doctor Who, and the English language. May or may not have an unhealthy obsession with rubber ducks.

The Twelfth Doctor Top 40

Never be cruel, never be cowardly… and never, ever eat pears! Remember, hate is always foolish, and love is always wise. Always try to be nice, but never fail to be kind. Oh, and you mustn’t tell anyone your name. No one would understand it anyway… except… except children. Children can hear it, sometimes, if their hearts are in the right place, and the stars are too. Children can hear your name. But nobody else. Nobody else, ever.

Laugh hard. Run fast. Be kind.

Doctor, I let you go…

And with those words on Christmas Day 2017, Peter Capaldi’s time in the TARDIS was over. With exactly forty episodes under his belt, here are my final rankings of the entire Twelfth Doctor era…



Coming Soon: Penned – The Final Chapters!

“Who wants to live forever?”

Stalked by an eternal shadow, Penn is thrown into a deadly confrontation and forced to make an impossible choice. Damaged by a broken heart and a broken spirit, can he trust himself to do what’s right in the moment of truth?

Age-old mysteries are finally revealed as a grand army rises and a terrible war is waged. With the past, present, and future hanging precariously in the balance, only one thing is for certain: darkness shall fall on the day the ducks align…

Penned will conclude in the two-part finale, “Rich in Heart” and “Rich in Spirit”, coming later this year.

Blogtor Who Digest – December 2017

A complete collection of my articles for Blogtor Who from December 2017


Happy Birthday to Who? – 16th December: Nicholas Courtney

Happy Birthday to Who? – 29th December: Bernard Cribbins and Julian Bleach

Victoria Christmas Special: Broadcast Date and Time Confirmed

Jenna Coleman Returns to the Throne for Victoria Series 3

Doctor Who Series 9 Soundtrack Coming Early 2018


Doctor Who – The Time of the Doctor (2013 Christmas Special)

The League of Gentlemen – 2017 Specials

Preview: Victoria Christmas Special – Comfort and Joy

Doctor Who – Twice Upon a Time (2017 Christmas Special)

Victoria Christmas Special – Comfort and Joy

Penned: The Story So Far

Need to catch up on the entire Penned saga to date, or just want to relive the last year of Penn’s adventures all at once? Then I’ve got you covered! The first four exciting chapters – from The Nutquacker all the way to Eternoël – can now be experienced in one handy, dandy bumper-length 100 page collection! As an extra special Christmas treat, I’ve even thrown in a specially-written Prologue chronicling Penn’s previous encounters with the magical rubber duck. This truly is the most definitive way of reading the whole Rub-a-Duck story so far…!

Download: Penned – The Story So Far (Chapters 1-4)


Short Story: Penned #4 – Eternoël

“I wish it could be Christmas every day…”

Christmas has finally come for Penn. As snow and cheer begin to fill the frosty air, the lone wanderer is miraculously reunited with a long lost friend who strives to remind him what the festive season is all about.

But can happiness truly ever be eternal for somebody who never grows old…?

Download: Penned #4 – Eternoël (bookfold)

Short Story: The Christmas Present (From “Seven Wonders of the Word”)


This story is taken from Seven Wonders of the Word, available to buy in paperback

Holidays are here again and it’s the most wonderful time of the year – for everyone except Henry. Still reeling from festive heartache the year before, he is struggling to get into the spirit of the season, even despite his friends’ best efforts to cheer him up. But when a sprightly new face enters his life, tantalisingly wrapped gift in hand, will he be able to stop acting like a Scrooge and accept the Christmas present?

Download: The Christmas Present (PDF, bookfold)

Proudly Presenting… Seven Wonders of the Word [Available Now!]



“What is magic but a sleight of hand, or a trick of the light…?”

A sorcerer on the run. A knock at the door. A knot in time. A love against the odds. An earth-shattering silence. A magical Christmas gift. And a glimpse into the future…

Richard Swain proudly presents this scintillating septet of short stories, transforming the ordinary into the extraordinary using the power of the written word.

High in concept and high in drama, this collection brings the wonders of the imagination to life in a spectacular showcase of fresh talent and storytelling.

As themes like wizardry, love, and even language go under the literary lens, you may never see the world in quite the same way again…

Contains the following short stories:

  • The Wizard on the Peak
  • Who’s There?
  • February 29th
  • To the Ends of the Earth
  • Hush
  • The Christmas Present
  • The Time-Ravaged Town

Available to buy in paperback now from Amazon

Review Recap: Victoria (ITV) Series 2

My complete collection of Victoria (ITV) Series 2 reviews for Blogtor Who

Episode 1 – A Soldier’s Daughter

Episode 2 – The Green-Eyed Monster

Episode 3 – Warp and Weft

Episode 4 – The Sins of the Father

Episode 5 – Entente Cordiale

Episode 6 – Faith, Hope & Charity

Episode 7 – The King Over the Water

Episode 8 – The Luxury of Conscience